Well, we tried something new last night. Not completely new, we’d had a short, spontaneous trial run earlier in the week, but it was still new. I actually didn’t have too many expectations, other than wanting to maintain a feeling of closeness, connectedness, no matter what. As things progressed, it felt kind of cold and disconnected…less touching, fewer words/directives/encouragement. At a pause in the activity, I told him I wanted to talk about it, which was VERY difficult to do! I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but we’ve had a similar situation in which I said nothing and it didn’t end well. We were able to mend things quickly then, but I didn’t want that to happen again, so I spoke to him. It turns out our lines had crossed. Part of it was a simple miscommunication. It was also that he was trying to be very focused on logistical things, such as tightness of the rope and cuffs, the strength in any impact (do no harm), the placement of any impact, interjecting the pleasure. This focusing made it difficult to transfer all that wonderful verbal, commanding, loving stuff from our bedroom to this situation. It takes practice. So, we communicated. And laughed a little at ourselves (while I was still bound, which was even funnier to us). Then, we tried again. Things got even more odd from here…
We had laughed at ourselves, so I was already sort of giggly and a little nervous and chilly. When he began again, he was kissing me, then moved to my neck, which I love so much. But, he moved to the front of my neck, under my chin, the most ticklish spot on my entire body. In erotic situations, it’s usually not ticklish, but for whatever reason, it tickled. It tickled a lot. And I laughed, hysterically. Then, I couldn’t stop. He did it a few more times, teasing me, which didn’t help. The problem is, when he did other things, I laughed then too. Big, ridiculous, inappropriate laughing. Even through the impacts. They were hilarious too. They hurt and it was funny. Actually, the harder they got, the funnier they were for a bit. He found it fascinating and laughed too. He didn’t stop, though, we went with it and talked throughout. Who says everything has to be all serious and rigid? It’s our sex, right? So, he was dominatingly funny (is that a word?). I did finally stop laughing when he did the most amazingly pleasurable things that took my breath away, intermingled with the other stuff too.
It ended up being a wonderfully connecting experience, because we communicated, let things go, and let the experience be whatever it was going to be, not trying to shape it based on any expectations in our heads. There are things we loved and things we didn’t and we discussed them all. We’ve come a long way with respect to our communication, not getting angry or hurt or hiding our feelings from one another. I love how we can talk and resolve things so much easier now, able to move on much more quickly without any residual hard feelings. And clarifying conversations are encouraged. It feels so good!
I was lucky, the kinky continued upstairs too. There was no laughing there….