The other night, my husband asks me to make hot tea. I’m preoccupied, but I do try to make the tea. I turn on the wrong burner, let the water run too long and pour the water into the wrong cup (it was too small, I’m told). He playfully threatens to take over because I can’t do it right, but his words speak truth. He’s telling me I’m not doing it correctly or quickly enough. It’s kind of a warning. Then, I’m told in which order to use which tea bags when I’m asked to make the tea.
Then, as I’m putting the dishes in the dishwasher, he’s standing right next to me, watching the placement of each dish and playfully re-doing half my work. I’m laughing, because he is being a little micromanaging, and I’m telling him so (I probably won’t choose that word again) while he chuckles along with me, but he continues with his directions. Again, his words speak truth, he means for me to load it his way. All the time. He tells me so.
Later, I got a critique on my grooming habits…down there. It was good feedback (!!!!), but unexpected. He made his preference clear long ago, but he’d never critiqued it quite so….in depth.
I am surprised. Again. It’s not that I thought he was incapable of extending control over such things, I just didn’t think he was interested or that he’d try so soon. I was wrong. He’s eluded there’s more to come. I won’t lie, sometimes, my first instinct is defensiveness in these situations. I wonder what was so wrong with my way. I wonder why I have to move so quickly. I wonder lots of things. Sometimes out loud. Most of the time, the sass is pretty controlled or remains in my head, and not rocketing out of my mouth, but he prefers some spunk, it’s who I am. It does not manifest in an attitude and I don’t pout. I certainly won’t undermine what we’re doing. Sometimes, though, he is so silly and instigating…and the line is gray sometimes…and I walk it. He tells me even if I don’t say I’m being stubborn with with my mouth, my eyes speak for me. I’m working on that.
I am so pleased he feels he can and should and will do whatever he feels is right. That makes me giddy. And, dammit, even when I’m a little irritated, it’s still hot. Maybe even more so.
He is definitely the one leading and I do respect and appreciate that he’s taken the wheel. More than he’ll ever know. So, I’ll be making the tea and doing the dishes his way. Quickly. I’ll be grooming myself precisely to his liking. Because his way is the right way. It is ;-).