I Kneel

Many aspects of D/s have been a natural flow for us; we were already doing them without even noticing or giving it a name. Other aspects have met roadblocks in my brain along the way – a gesture or act which just feels odd or gives me an uneasy feeling. Some of my beliefs and preconceived notions about things get in the way. Kneeling was one act of submission which left me feeling apprehensive. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

Kneeling is not a familiar position for me with a partner. Kneeling has always been a private thing, a position of devotion, not necessarily to a god, but one of reverence to the devotion itself. Devotion is my time for reflection, time alone to gather my thoughts, work things through in my head and make peace with myself. A position of offering, kneeling has provided an outlet for my innermost thoughts and feelings, whether it is a tumultuous time or one of joy. Many times, it is a position of penance, where I’m able to seek resolve within myself. I’ve always been my most vulnerable at this moment, on my knees, alone.

I would NEVER have knelt before a man in the past. Ever. In my mind, what a sign of weakness this would be. To be so vulnerable with another person was unacceptable, silly even. I didn’t choose men who, in my estimation, deserved that sort of reverence or respect. Now, kneeling has taken on new meaning. M devotes his life to making me happy, to making me feel safe and loved and cherished. This man, to whom I devote my life, deserves the reverence and respect I possess in every ounce of my being. So, I kneel before him. I am vulnerable, devoting, offering, and resolved with him. I’ve never felt less alone.

13 thoughts on “I Kneel

  1. I have those same feelings.I only wish we’d have an empty nest to explore more deeply what it is we want and desire not to mention need.

      • Yes it does. Our last one is 17 and likes to come in and out and when we think we have time to play, well along comes the kiddo.

      • Been there too. Boy it’s hard having a family and this lifestyle as well

  2. Kneeling for me is the opening move for my transition from Dominant in daily life to submissive before Master. It’s my time to catch my breath, slow down and shift. I love it, dearly.

  3. The kneeling for me (as I never had knelt before him to just kneel at his feet) I crave that. There are times during the day that I just kneel to help me gather my thoughts and it makes me feel peaceful. I can not wait for the day when I can kneel at his feet and rest my head on his knees.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s