Since 1994, I’ve worn a dress 4 times – once for my own wedding and the other 3 times as a bridesmaid. I tolerated the wedding dress, but all others I hated. I hated the way they looked, the way they felt, the way I had to pay attention to how I sat and bent over. I was very overweight and self-conscious every second they were on my body. Dresses were not for me.
Friends of ours are getting married soon and it’s an upscale function and I needed something to wear. I thought I’d give dresses a try again. Yesterday, M took me dress shopping………and I can’t stop thinking about it.
At the store, I gathered up several dresses in my size and took them to the dressing room. M sat in the ‘man chair’ just outside the room, waiting. I slipped into the first one (that’s not true, I wrestled it WWE style until I got it on right), then nervously walked out to show him. The look on his face….the way his eyes lit up….the genuine surprise and…..something else I’ve never seen before….it brought tears to my eyes. All I could do was stand there for him and smile. This same scenario repeated for each dress I tried on. He LOVED choosing for me. He loved asking me to turn around, to walk for him, to try a certain one on again. It was one of the most erotic and connecting moments we’ve ever had.
I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t expect that. I’ve lost a lot of weight, but I’ll always be curvy, I’ll always have skin from the loss. I’m much more confident, but other than when I’m with M, I don’t always feel sexy. Watching him look at me, seeing that gleam in his eyes and that smile of desire and pride plastered on his face – that’s not likely something I’ll ever forget. I felt sexy. I felt like he was proud I belonged to him. The experience was about much more than a dress.
So many times yesterday evening, he’d look at me and say, “You looked so good in those dresses.” He told me how proud he is of me and how much he loves my curves (add in wavy arm movements and suggestive looks). He even whispered that phrase into my ear a couple times between the sheets…..and that desire….it only intensified.
I wonder what his reaction will be if I ask him to take me shopping for heels?!