Where He Wants

I don’t understand how being on top, or in any position for that matter, could be considered as the submissive ‘topping’ or a dominant giving up some of the control. If M wants me in a position, that’s where I am. It’s precisely where I want to be, focused on pleasing him. Following.

Before this dynamic, being on top felt so exposing, so awkward. I avoided eye contact. All I thought about was how my body looked with each movement, how his eyes were on me, how I hoped I was moving in ways that pleased him. I worried I was less than what he wanted or deserved.

Now, when he wants me there, I happily follow. I am vulnerable and exposed for him, and it’s an amazingly freeing feeling. I revel in watching and feeling his pleasure, I center on his directions. In his hands, even on top, I feel small and empowered, not powerful. There’s a difference.

I’m on top, because that’s exactly where he wants me to be.

7 thoughts on “Where He Wants

    • Thank you. One of the things I love so much about this journey is that M and I have found our way, or are finding our way, and deciding what works for us. We try things on, tweak them, change them, or discard them altogether. Whatever we choose is the right way, because it works for us.

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