The Passage of Time

I lived my whole life in a hurry. I always looked toward something – the completion of a task, the earning of something, hitting a milestone….whatever lied ahead. Even in the toughest of times, I found a way to have hope.

Yet, it seems the fruits of that hope were always reserved for the future too. I sprinted toward the prize, but never slowed down enough to enjoy it, always on to the next, then the next.

Over the last year, I slowed down. I still tried to sprint some, especially in the first months of D/s, but I had no choice but to slow down, M wasn’t having any of that. I was missing so much, for so long. I saw what I was missing and could acknowledge it, but I wasn’t appreciating it, savoring the details. All the small things that make life so wonderful. I was too busy trying to ignore all that stuff that I’d stuffed away, worried I might have to face it if I gave myself enough time to really think. As I move along, I don’t stuff anymore, but that does lend itself to big feelings and lots of thinking. I’m trudging through it all and trying to savor each step in the path.

I don’t feel old, in fact, I feel younger than I have in years. I am, however, acutely aware of the passage of time. Of what it means and how I want to live my life.

I’m all done sprinting. And, I know if I try, even just a little, M is right here, with his hand on my waistband, slowing me down. Thank god.

14 thoughts on “The Passage of Time

  1. “I’m all done sprinting” – me too! Besides, I could break a hip. It is the single greatest benefit of learning to surrender. I am grateful for the reminder. Thank you! 🙂
    Annie

    • It is for me too, Annie. Without the ability to do so, none of the rest would be possible for me. I had to slow down FIRST, before I could even be in a place where I was ready to begin the work I needed to begin.

      I’m guessing your hips are in superb condition, my friend.

    • I am happy to be of service!

      Honestly, I am thankful to be sharing so many aspects of myself with you. It’s so wonderful to find kindred souls with whom to travel.

      Thank you,
      Kay

  2. Hi Kay

    It is funny how life gets crazy and then makes you crazy……like you I find slowing down is much better….and making life much simpler. …then the colors of life appeared! ……so beautiful!

    Sean

  3. I do the same. I’ve said for years that if I end up with a tombstone (which I don’t want, but still…) – it would say, “I have time for one more quick thing…” I’m going to try to breath more, *live* more, *be* me more. Thanks for the reminder!

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