M and I are going away for a long weekend to a cabin. Last year, at this exact time, we did the same. We took a trip and reconnected like we hadn’t done in many, many years. We’d begun to heal and rekindle so many things in the year or so before, but the few months leading up to that trip were the most intense we’d had in such a long time. Maybe ever.
At that cabin, something changed in us. It’s the reason we were able to continue on a path which included D/s. It was life-changing. I fell deeper in love with him and it’s only gotten better. We’ve become closer than ever.
We leave Thursday for the cabin. I kept thinking I needed a grand gesture, some way to convey to M just how much his receptiveness, his willingness, his hard work and trustworthiness mean to me. How much I appreciate his steadfast leadership. How much this journey has meant to me.
I wrote a letter for our anniversary and it was heartfelt, but it didn’t seem like enough. I looked for a dress, something that reflected me, something I could be confident, feminine and sexy in and show him the woman I’ve become. I looked for lingerie. I did my hair and my nails. I wrecked my brain trying to think of the perfect gift.
No clothing seemed to fit just right. Not my body, but the situation. Nothing I did seemed to say what I wanted it to say. Nothing will. There is no material thing. No garbed or fancy presentation.
I realized, I have all I need, I have the grandest of gestures. I have me….just me. It’s all he’s ever wanted. Just me, all of me. Joyful, fulfilled me. I will kneel before this man, bare, and offer just me. No shielding or armor, no expectations or hesitations, no looking backward. Just a smile. He’ll know exactly what I mean.
I’m going to be sure he knows, without a doubt, he has all of me, every day, for the rest of my life.