Finding My Equilibrium

One key component to happiness for me is seeing the ones I love happy. I do everything in my power to make that happen – I give of my time, I do for them, I go out of my way. The problem is, I have always had a difficult time saying no. I mismanage my time sometimes, trying to fit too many things in. I allow myself to be pulled in many directions and my plate is always full.

I think, after a while of operating that way, I reach a limit. My limit. After a while of giving, not saying no, and mismanaging my time, I begin to feel completely depleted. I feel empty, like there’s nothing left to give, and my reserves are gone. When I do, my thoughts oftentimes turn ugly and inward. I’m a raw ball of emotion. I begin to feel as though I don’t deserve things, that my time isn’t as valuable. I feel like a failure at most things I try, in most areas of my life. I feel walked upon and used. I feel robotic.

My battle is with finding my equilibrium. I’ve been working toward finding how to best balance this new-feeling life. It’s changed so much in the last year or so that my priorities have shifted so greatly. I’ve made small changes, one at a time, to try and help find that place of equilibrium. Most work for a bit, which is progress, but I still end up feeling overwhelmed.

With a little help from a dear friend, I’ve realized one of the most important things left to do is to learn to build in time for me to re-energize and refill my reserves. To feel as if some of my time belongs to me, too. I need quiet, contemplative time for myself. I need exercise. I need time to write. I need to feel replenished.

When I feel as if I’ve refueled my soul, I have more to give the ones I love, more to offer the world. What I give to others means more and is more positively received when I do.

So, 2015, it’s time to find that equilibrium.

12 thoughts on “Finding My Equilibrium

    • I’m so happy he’s done that for you, WWA. Getting things to a manageable level makes all the difference, I know. I absolutely love that he supports you and cares about helping you be happy.

      M is more the behind the scenes supporter and encourager. He lets me figure things out on my own, makes suggestions and may even put his foot down on occasion, in order to hold me accountable for the things I said were important to me. He patiently allows me to come to a place of realization on my own. He allows me to ‘arrive’ and supports me along the way. I appreciate it.


  1. When we empty the vessel serving those we love – we need to refill it. It’s so hard for women (and men), particularly in our culture, to rest/restore without feeling selfish. But the truth is you can’t give what you don’t have.

    • One of my pastors calls it our ‘spiritual tank’… as Annie said, you need to to refill the tank in order to have the reserves to give out. As submissives, I think most of us are hard-wired to give beyond measure and run dry, but Master is so giving to me that I am constantly filled. I’m not used to that and struggle sometimes because I feel like I don’t give Him enough, even though He says I do. That’s where I need to find my balance.

      • Beautifully stated. That’s exactly how I believe God created us . . . To fill and pour out. It’s the cycle of love, life and growth. Every living thing needs to be watered to thrive! ❤️

  2. No doubt in my mind that you will find that much needed equilibrium. When Annie I’d happy and fulfilled, so is everyone around her.

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