Every night, when M and I go to sleep, we go through the same routine. We may talk bit, we always kiss, I roll over and snuggle my body back into him. M tucks his knees into the backs of mine, slightly lifting his top knee and sliding it forward a little so it tucks tightly against my bottom. He whispers some sort of goodnight phrase in my ear and I whisper back. Then, he glides his hand up my body and lightly grips around my neck. And that’s where it stays as we fall asleep.
This is something we’ve never talked about. I never asked him to do it. And it’s one of the things he does that makes my heart sing the most.
While I’m not a collared gal, because it’s just not something either of us have an interest in, his hand around my neck every night, of his own desire, having come about completely organically, is one of the most amazing feelings of belonging I’ve ever known. Those five work-roughened fingers, strong and tender, filled with love and commitment and passion…..they’re the only collar I’ll ever need. I wear them every night.