My Guide

Recently, I wrote about why I follow M, about how he isn’t a man who dictates – he waits.

Here’s an example from probably 10 years ago, at a time before we ever talked about D/s. Actually, at a turning point, I believe.

I was 33 and had never had an orgasm. I’d never spoken to a single person on this Earth about it. I’d never even tried to have one or had a conversation about how to have one. One day, I realized that I was tired of feeling shame about my sexuality. Of denying my desires and curiosities. I was ready to be a little freer and let go of whatever was holding me back. Holding us back. So, I explored my own body. I figured it out. I bought some sex toys. But, I hid it all from M. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t know how just yet.

Then, one evening during a candid talk about how we’d become too comfortable, more like roommates, and wanted to do something about it, I just decided to tell him all of it. And do you know what? He’d known about the toys. He’d known for weeks. He’d even known I used them. Amidst all the swirling emotion and wonder about those toys and the situation, he never said a word……he waited. He knew I’d come to him and speak about it when I was ready and we’d move forward. And we did. He guided us through.

He’s always been my guide.

8 thoughts on “My Guide

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