Remember how I said that my M waits? Not only does he observe and listen and encourage me in ways I don’t even realize, but he is always making mental notes of things. He ponders them and applies them in every aspect of our lives – in guiding me with decision making, encouraging growth, making decisions for the family, in holding me accountable. Even in the bedroom I see it, and it’s been so much more concentrated and apparent in the recent months.
We talk a lot, M and I, and he listens to my desires and he ‘puts them in the bank’. He reads my words and encourages me to speak to him. Always, he reads my body and listens to it’s responses to him, each and every sigh and moan, writhe and gasp, wetness and wanting expression, both in and out of the bedroom. When we are intimate, he is the able orchestrator, melding our desires as one. He just knows and feels and is able to intuit, having made all those observations…….pair this with that, or this first, then that, harder now, softer then, silly here, command there. All the while, he’s continually making mental notes for future use, always in control, always a few steps ahead.
When I’m sitting at his feet and he tugs my hair, telling me to turn and face him, I always get butterflies in my belly as he gives me his instructions to begin the evening. I have no idea how it will play out. All I know is that I am putty in his hands, and I cannot wait to feel him shape me. I trust him with all that I am.
Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed, in the best way. Is there a better feeling? To bear your physical and emotional wants/needs/desires to another person and see and feel that not only has he listened, but he knows you, better than you know yourself? And his desire is to orchestrate your pleasure and grow/demonstrate your trust, in his way? Even more…that his way is far better than you could ever have imagined?
Not today, there isn’t.