He Is

He is the tells me I’m beautiful man
The always is truthful man
The humor makes me feel youthful man
Exuberant on the inside

He is the helps you fix your flat man
The meets you where you’re at man
The puts up with my brat man
Compassionate on the inside

He is the leads by doing man
The eyes are my cueing man
The ideas are always brewing man
Wise on the inside

He is the listens and hears me man
The promises are never empty man
The inside his arms is comfy man
Worthy on the inside

He is the sheds a tear man
The holds my hand when I’m near man
The makes mistakes without fear man
Strong on the inside

He is the helps me see clearly man
The spanks my ass sincerely man
The walks tall and cavalierly man

Home on the inside

More Than…..

After all these years together, I am deeper in love with M than I’ve ever been. He doesn’t believe in the notion of falling more in love, but I believe as we grow in this way of living, our capacity to love deepens. We grow and evolve and with that, there’s always more to learn and uncover. As we learn more and more about one another, there’s an infinitely deeper appreciation, a deeper connection….there’s always more to love. And, there are forever uncharted paths which we get to create and walk together, a never-ending cycle of deepening connection and love.

I know we’ve been together a long time, but I feel like more than his life partner, more than his wife, even. I feel wanted and needed, nurtured and protected. I’m not sure there’s a word for that, or if there even needs to be one, but I feel spiritually connected with him. Belonging isn’t even strong enough and owned is maybe not the right word, either.

His. I believe it’s that simple. I’m his, always. And madly in love.

Been Home All Along

Home is where one feels peace, where one can strip off her daily garb, shed all the masks and hats, take a deep breath, and exhale. It’s where one feels safety and solace, where there is a sense of belonging.

For a very long time in my life, I’d not not known this place, or those feelings. There were houses and apartments, dorm rooms and rented rooms – places in which I resided for periods of time, most in passing. All were places in which to put my things, to ‘live’ and go about the day to day business of existing. None felt like home.

Then, in my 20’s, this man came along and in his presence, I felt something I’d never felt. I felt seen and heard. I wasn’t just desired, I was appreciated as a whole person. He genuinely wanted to know me – the more he knew, the more he wanted to know. I was so drawn to him – I felt a longing for things in this life I’d been so afraid to want and hope for – vulnerable and exposing things, ones which involved great risk. I’d guarded parts of myself to keep from outwardly desiring those things (for fear of hurt and failure), but with him, I couldn’t keep those guards up. He saw right through them anyway.

I jumped in with two feet, but I was unprepared for the risk. I tried like hell to guarantee a happy ending. I tried to control the outcome with expectations and molds opposite of what I’d grown up seeing and experiencing. I tried with all my might to create a perfect place to call home, a life in which I belonged. Until one day, I realized that I’d been the one in my own way. In my attempts, I’d kept myself from seeing what was right in front of me. With M, I’d been home all along. With him, I never needed to wear any masks, I could breathe deeply, and exhale. He has always been my safe place, my solace. With him, I belong.

Feeling It All

In the darkness, spirals called

Winding wells and staircases tall

Regret and worry, fashioned lenses

Costumes and masks, ill-fitting pretenses

Naked and bare, exposed to the core

Questions unanswered, left wanting more

Measures and comparisons, not quite enough

Sometimes the darkness has been pretty tough

But the light is brighter than ever before 

No fear of darkness, not any more 

Embracing it all, the darkness and light

The in-between, the fights and flights

I feel it all like never before

This ME I was meant to be, open and whole

A Little Laughter (Or a Lot), Every Day

  
M and I laugh and joke and have fun together, every day. Every single day. It’s part of the fabric of who we are; it’s one of the things that has bound us together for more than 21 years. Each morning, I stick a note in M’s lunch. It’s just a small gesture, but I love knowing I’ve made him smile at work and think of us. It’s one of our favorite things.

Today, M stopped by to kiss me on the way to a meeting….and left me a big envelope full of the last few month’s lunch notes. So, in no particular order, here are my favorites:

1. Hickory dickory dock
Kay loves to suck your cock
And when she goes down
You’ll tell half the town
Then to your front door they’ll flock

2. May I have your cucumber with my salad today, Sir?

3. My left knee is sore, but my hiknee isn’t.

4. Roses are red
Fuck the bank
Maybe tonight
I can pull on your crank?

5. I was wondering if you could add me to your To Do List?
Nail me
Pound me
Stroke me
Screw me
Touch me up (and down)
Lay me
Spread me
Fill my cracks

6. Conserving water with you is really fun. Maybe next time you’ll let me lather your nozzle?

7. Your snuggles make the world stop spinning. (Shut up. I am mushy and sappy, too.)

8. You complete me. With ice cream. And handcuffs.

10. You still put my stomach in knots. Now, my wrists and ankles, too.

11. Your cock is worth every cavity. (I read somewhere that cum corrodes enamel)

12. Roses are red
Uranus is sore
Thanks for visiting
Your personal whore

13. Hmmmm….what day is it? It’s next Tuesday, right? Cuz I’m certain you fucked me straight into next Tuesday.

15. Thank you for being my own personal sit-n-spin.

16. Fluffernutter. Hmmmm….I bet that’s not just a name for a sandwich. You in?

17. I love you and I hope you feel better. How else will you breathe with your face in my pussy?

18. If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Spankyterracocks.

19. I love being your little whore. Whore’s get paid, right?

20. Smile! No matter how your day goes, I’ll suck your cock.

She Is Also

She is a loves to be wordy girl
A marvelously nerdy girl
The reads till 2:30 girl
Naughty on the inside

She is a loves to be home girl
A rather text than phone girl
The loyal to the bone girl
Uninhibited on the inside

She is a business tycoon girl
A serves you soup with a spoon girl
The folds your pantaloons girl
Lascivious on the inside

She is the looks like you and me girl
The heart on her sleeve girl
The what you get is what you see girl
Free on the inside

Rump Roast

Last night, M used a tie on my legs and one on my hair that was attached to the hook in the ceiling. (And the rattan cane). When all was said and done, it went like this:

M: Did you like this hair tie?

Me: Yes! I loved it.

M: You have Martha Stewart to thank for this one. The last one was too loose, so I googled ‘rump roast tie’ and Martha taught me on YouTube.

Me: Oh my God, that’s fucking funny! I’m writing her a letter and thanking her for the rump roast kinky fuckery hair tie. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?

So, he’d tied my hair in a rump roast tie, then roasted my rump. 😀

Now, I’m working on that letter……

Long Day….

as your ravenous mouth claims
what’s yours again,
my gasps and moans give way
to a breathless grin
goosebumps form on the surface
of my readied skin,
a foreshadowed rising of surrender within,
and back arching with twisted sheets in fists
my wordless cue eruption will begin

it’s been a long day of squeezing thighs,
flushed cheeks, and forgotten tasks again

with you is where my mind has been

please, Sir, may we take the Walnut for a spin?

Wednesday Romance, Continued……

Taking Annie’s lead, this is one of my all time favorite romantic songs.

Our first apartment – you grabbing me as soon as I walked through the door and pressing me into you, candles lit around the room, bodies closely swaying and you mouthing the words as you unbutton my ripped up, frayed Levi’s…..

It is gonna be a daydreamin’ kind of day. 💜

Opened Books

Our hearts are finally open books
Open-ended
Scribbled, merged rough drafts
Where we can
Stumble over vowels
Fumble over lines
Free-fall into paragraphs
And edit entire chapters
Whenever the fuck we want

Because our spine
Is leather bound
Cracked and well used
Anchoring our pages
And strong enough
To last a lifetime