Long Road to Happy

I’ve written before about how our relationship changes have effected the entire family. There’s been such a far-reaching, positive impact in the way we communicate and interact, all of us. For that I am so grateful. 

But I’ve also expressed concerns about my oldest daughter. This journey has been a very long one for me and she has been witness to it all. She’s experienced all those old ways I use to operate, ways which I know instilled guilt and confusion, which had a negative impact, of that I’m certain. I lived a distracted life and had no idea how to accept my own imperfections….and I see her doing those same things. She’s more open than ever, but still has a long way to go, and she’s so hard on herself. So very hard. 

Today, I learned something that absolutely breaks my heart for her. She needs me (us) now, more than ever. It’s not going to be easy to tackle the issue. I do believe we are equipped to handle it all better than ever, but today, my heart hurts and I feel like I failed her. 

22 thoughts on “Long Road to Happy

  1. There are no handbooks that we get when we become parents. You can only make decisions based on the skills you have at the time. I have one raised and one still at home. I totally get the guilt. The thing you can stand on now is that as you head into the hardest years, you are united and strong. That will make an indelible impression. Hugs.

    • Thank you so much, WWA. I know that’s true, I just find it easy to forget at the start of the process. Those emotions are so big! Especially with our children. I appreciate your encouraging words more than you’ll know.

  2. This spoke to me from both the parent and the child side of the spectrum. As parents, we are most critical of ourselves, aren’t we? And as children, we look for our parent’s approval and acceptance. No one is perfect. And truth be told…we all feel this way. There are things we wish we could change, or take back, or re-do But in the end, it’s life experience that shapes us and our kids…the good and the bad.

    • And I hit send before I was ready…sorry….

      WWA is so right…you are a united front now, when your daughter needs you most. And there is power in that. Stay strong, mama. Love to you and yours.

    • I know I am! Am I’m certain that’s true of our children. I know we all feel like we let them down or feel guilt for the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s, it’s built in, I think. But, you’re so right! The experiences change us, when tee good or bad, and help us to move forward better in some way if we let them. Thank you so much!

  3. Whatever it is, you will deal and be there for her. In raising my children, we have had our share of heartaches and issues. Never lose sight of the fact that you are a family. She needs your love and support. Together, you will get through this.

  4. Sometimes the long roads are the ones most often traveled by many. And we can always be the hardest and most judge mental about ourselves. Angel is right there is no handbooks, and so the line between right and wrong is blurred, and doesn’t always look the same to different people. Follow your gut, and let your heart and mind back it up. You can do this.

    • It is blurred, and that is so difficult. The possibility of mistakes choosing either way are great, so we have I go with our guts at the time, I know. Thank you so much! I appreciate your support and encouragement very much.

  5. Sis, I will add nothing to the voices of the beauties above but to say you know we love you guys and are here always. Love you so much, my sister by choice.

  6. Like WWA and you, i think we have all felt the guilt of feeling like we have failed our children in one way or another. my prayers are with you and yours. Keep your head up!!

  7. I know the feeling that you “failed” your child. But be certain, you are not failing her. You are doing your best, every day, with the tools you have available. The only failure would be if you did nothing. :::hugs:::

  8. I’m sure that your journey is inspiring to everyone who knows you. That you were not a perfect parent makes you normal, but to be giving your children an example of how it’s never to late to create positive changes makes you amazing. Be proud, mama. She lucky to have you. xox

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