Pulling me into him, legs locking behind mine, his chest cradles me in, and his arm drapes over me so his hand can cup my breast, just as it was 21 years ago. Except this night, my head is hazy with exhaustion and I’m glowing in him. I’ve just lived this boundary pushing, trust expanding, spiritual experience that is far from what we looked like 21 years ago, but which is our ‘normal’ now. Yet that ‘normalcy’ in no way diminishes the wonder and awe I feel, every time.
I’m lying there in his arms, awe struck. The way he looks at me, the way he directs me, and the words he says to me and about me, leave me humming.
It’s not so complicated – he asks and I do (within our limits, of course). Things I never imagined I’d like, or even love, I do. I want to, NEED to. His desires only fuel my freedom. I am me..I am his.
The best part is – it’s not just my freedom that’s been unlocked, it’s his too. He feels free to express all his desires…because I belong to him. I get to live and experience and BE whatever he wishes.
Last night, as he locked us together and nuzzled his cheek into mine, he said, “Thank you for being my toy.” I think my heart skipped a few beats.
I’m HIS TOY.