Some Days

Some days, life’s talons dig in,
Ripping and tearing at my flesh,
My fingers clinging, clawing 
At the dirt, as I try to remain

Here, now 

Some days, I need him to
Help me cling and claw,
Allow me to sink into the sharpness,
To meet force with equal force 

Some days, I need the pain,
I need the snug, prickly roughness,
I need to gasp, twist, clench, 
I need the lashes of scorching heat

And the raised welts that remain

I need to hold my breath 
Until my head hurts 
And wonder if the next strike 
Will make me say the word 

I need to hover and flirt 
With the spiny threshold,
And then cross it, not tip-toeing,
But leaping in a silent scream

Some days, the talons’ grip wanes 
As the pain is the pleasure, 
the pleasure is the pain 
is the pleasure
is the pain
is pleasure
pain
is
me

And I can see
I can be

Now

Because of Him


This is so very powerful! It brought me to tears! It also made me reflect on my own rocky relationship with my dad. And all my step-dads, for that matter, but with my dad, I was lucky enough to get a second chance. But first, I was lucky enough to find M. 

Because of Him

Your love required a cost
I was willing to pay
I spent and I spent
But you still walked away

Didn’t matter that you took me
Or let weekends slip by
Rarely called to check in
Or hugged me when I cried

I wanted a Daddy
Who actually stayed
Who was kind and truly cared
Didn’t throw me away

But you left and stayed gone
With not even a word
As if I had no worth
As if my love was no good

I searched to find you
Tracked you down through my brother
How did he know your whereabouts?
Did you know there was another?

Then you got sicker
Came back to our hometown
Expected me to forget
To always be around

And because of my M
Who’s helped pick up my pieces
Support as I slowly glued 
And unfolded the creases

I opened my heart to you
I forgave the undoing
All the forgotten feelings
To see where we were going

Because of this man
Who taught me men who are strong
Hold your hand always
Even when you are wrong 

They stay when they love you
They weather the storms
They keep you from tipping
And pick you up when you’re worn 

Because of this man
Who protected, kept me safe
I could see it in you, too
The strength and love in your face

And, once again
I let hope overgrow
Was there by your side
Until your last breath did flow

I wouldn’t change that
Even though it broke my heart
I’m glad I began to truly know you
And we were able to re-start

Your Wings…

For fifteen years,
You gave your all
Refused to quit,
Refused to fall

You used your voice,
Created opportunity
Helped so many,
And built community

Authentic and honest,
They counted on you
To weather the storms,
To lead them through

Friends were made,
You touched their hearts
Leaving a piece behind,
When you part

Now, into your box,
Go more than things
They are promises you made,
The ideas with wings

That’ll carry you on,
To this new endeavor 
I’ll be the wind beneath them, 
We’ll fly on forever

Today is M’s last day at a place he’s been for 15 years. He’s gonna kick ass at the new one!

His Voice (acrostic)

Heavy, like a weighted blanket,

It soothes me. I nestle into it,

Snuggling every syllable, all the

Verbs slowly slithering, he the

Oracle orchestrating, and 

I his muse.

Commanding, gentle, yet fierce, it

Envelopes me in its timbre.

Come inside?

I am a pane of glass

warm on the inside,

cold to the touch,

and streaked with trepidus

droplets of condensation.

I wonder,

if I clear a little spot,

will you take the time

to peek inside?

Replaying

your ravenous mouth claimed
what is yours again,
as gasps and moans gave way 
to a breathless grin

goosebumps formed
on the surface of readied skin, 
a foreshadowed rising
of surrender within

and back arching 
with twisted sheets in fists,
the wordless cue 
eruption would begin

tired eyes, achey muscles
and tethered souls 
couldn’t tell where 
time had been

sleep came easily, 
exhaustion kicking in

and now, today has been 
a long day of replaying,
of squeezing thighs, 
flushed cheeks, 
and forgotten tasks –
with you is where 
my mind has been

maybe later,
we can do it all again?

 Were Not Some Part of Her

there was once a hole in her heart where no love would grow,
a void not desolate, no,
it was an urban uproar,
expectations as tall and as
sharp as skyscrapers,
all angles and edges,
streets littered with elbows
and crowded corners,
she a pedestrian on an
endless, one-way route
of regret,
her yearning a suffocating
smog, a desperate redness
swelling in her tired chest,
droplets of shameful acid rain
eroding roads,
rationalizations the pits and falls on the map to nowhere

were not some part of her
made of steel and concrete,
her soul would have suffocated,
her lungs would have exploded against the weight

were not some part of her
a cartographer, bravely charting the void, the child inside would never have ventured forth
to find nourishment

were not some part of her
a gardner, feeding the green
amongst the steel and concrete,
her heart would not now
know such sustenance

were not some part of her
an architect, unafraid to draft and erase, hope would have died long, long ago, and her heart would not now be whole

Just Listen

Crisp sheets smooth on clean-shaven skin
Cool breeze blowing in the window
Warm body slides in against hers
Hand begins its travel lower

First, slow circles, leg over his
Two fingers now fast on swollen clit
“Thank you for taking good care, Love,
Always, just the way I like it.”

Strong fingers dipping, massaging
Slowly teasing, then relentless
So close, already, as they wane
Then colide with needy clit to press

Endlessly seeming, his cycles
Circles and massaging, repeat
“No coming, stay quiet, or I’ll stop”
Listening, breath catching, eyes meet

Loving, his encouraging words
But she’s challenged, with no release
“Not yet,” each time she squeeze-clenches
Back arching, her hips beg and plead

Fingers pause, the pair’s heart beats sync
Telling her two rules she must heed
“Stay quiet, Love, and come when told”
“Yes, Sir,” as fists in gray sheets knead

Painfully slow, circles begin
On engorged and desperate flesh
Fingers abruptly slide, enter
His control, her trusting enmesh

Hissing, cool air between her lips
Her essence filled with desire
“Stay quiet and breathe, Love,” he says
Then, “Give it to me,” fuels the fire

Pulsing and contracting muscles
Radiate warmth as wetness pools
A pause, so short, body deceived
Release prolonged, fingers as tools

Beaded foreheads meet, their eyes lock
Open palm strikes delicate skin
Soft rub, hard strike, repeatedly
Her explosion nearing again

“Give me one more,” he growls, this time
Sending shivers down her arced spine
As fingers plunge each opening
Wrecking orgasm, his words in mind

Waves of pleasure, calming breath
In trembles and quakes, she lets go
Souls intertwined with his powerful words
“Just listen,” and her body does follow

*an older poem given a facelift

Need

A few hot-on-my ear naughty whispers
The barely-touched wisping of your whiskers

A head-to-toe, rolling chain reaction
The awe-sum of our lethal attraction

A thrum-nagging just under my ribcage
The breath-catching shudder begging assuage

A please-oh-please pink on my blushing cheeks
The oh-god shiver causing lacey peaks

A twinge-clenching, heat wave radiating
The leg-crossing pulse never abating

A breathy-moan between teeth escaping
The finger-tip-touch leaving mouth gaping

A head-nodding command moves to my knees
My buzz-humming body eager to please

A bubbling-molten pool of fiery need
My aching soul does only-for-you bleed

Take me, I’m your head-thrown back ecstasy
As I call out, ‘Please, Sir’, quite breathlessly

Our two-becomes-one passion colliding
My mind-body-soul-is-yours abiding

Yearning

Waiting
Anticipating
Soul is soaring 
Need to please roaring
On knees, pose complying 
Butterflies inside, multiplying
Footsteps nearer, blazes burning
Yearning