Stay

  
~photo found via Google, weaveseattle.com

yes, I can hear you
but I can’t let you in
I’ve gotten so lost
in these webs that I spin

I open my mouth
but no sound comes out
I can’t find my voice
my throat is all drought

my heart is quite the opposite
it’s always pumping too much
overflowing and clouding
everthing that I touch

emotions so large
they threaten to break me
I want and I need
but I fear you will flee

so, don’t some too close
or you’ll get stuck in here, too
I’ll pull and then push
until you’re black and you’re blue

unless, by some chance
you really wish to stay
this key will unlock me
grab it, I have so much to say

Created in response to the Daily Post, Voice

21 thoughts on “Stay

  1. This is beautifully expressed. I can especially relate to this:
    emotions so large
    they threaten to break me

    Yes.

    • Thank you, Vic. I appreciate your feedback, but I’m sorry you feel that way, too.

      They really can (and do) feel like that, huh?!? And yet, they do not. I’ve found the need to sink into them, see them for what they are, and find a way forward.

      • OMgosh yes! In the past couple years I have been able to do that more and more and I find that I am even able to hold off emotions that I can’t feel right at the time for whatever reason, because I know I will give myself time to fully feel it later. I am always trying to embrace my emotional nature rather than be annoyed or ashamed- it’s a work in progress. πŸ™‚

      • Oh, I’m so glad! I’m not so great at holding them off. They are always just beneath my skin, and I don’t hide them well at all!! I’m not even sure I can anymore. I used to, but I did it in a way that stuffed them and didn’t fully deal with them, so it’s been a process just to feel them all, all the time. So I’m a work in progress too! And I’m okay with that!

      • Well, I am crap at hiding them on my face- I am an open book when it comes to that. But I guess I mean, I can not cry even when I feel it bubbling under the surface. I used to not be able to do that, which sucks when you’re say, in the middle of the grocery store, lol. But yeah, everyone asks me what’s wrong when something is bothering me. I can’t hide it. I grew up thinking that I felt “too much” and so tried to stuff them. That just doesn’t work, does it? πŸ˜‰

      • No, it doesn’t! I grew up feeling the same way. I’m so glad you can do that now! I was so far the opposite, meaning that I got pretty good at hiding it all, and feeling so full I was about to burst. I turned it all inward, and began to blame myself for it all in some way. Now I feel it all, all the time, show it on my face, and struggle to not cry in the open! It’s been a crazy learning experience.

  2. “Emotions so large
    They threaten to break me.”
    …this is something I completely understand. (But I fear mine have already broken me some.)
    Great poem! Love it.

    • Thanks, Cathy. It’s not the place I am currently. Just drawing upon old feelings, places I’ve been. But, I’ll take the hugs any day! And offer them as well.πŸ’œ

  3. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 7 – “The Endless Beauty Of An Authentic Voice” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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