Our paths first crossed because we both played soccer. We ended up having friends in common and we’d often be at the same parties, bars, or local hang outs, but we never really clicked or became friends until the beginning of our senior year. It was 1993.
It must have been some special gravitational pull at just the right time, our coming together. We had both experienced some big life challenges, felt a little lost, and were trying to find (forge!) direction when we collided. He had suffered a life-altering injury and was just recovering enough to see a light at the end of the tunnel. My dad had just suffered his first heart attack and my mom had just married for the sixth time (without telling me). We both felt real life looming, with graduation rapidly approaching. I wasn’t looking for anyone or anything and neither was he. But, it happened anyway.
My roommate and I lived in the large dorm room at the end of the hall. It was a gathering place and we’d often end up with a room full of people hanging with us. Such was the case one evening when my roommate invited this guy she liked to come hang out. He brought a small group of friends along. M was among the small crowd.
Instantly, we hit it off, talking and laughing for most of the night. Several times after, they came over to hang out again, and each time he and I would eventually find a spot to talk alone, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. There was no awkward silence, our humor was eerily similar, and we just clicked. He talked to me unlike any other guy I had ever hung out with. It was fluid and open and comfortable. He was funny and witty and compassionate. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Unbeknownst to me, one evening my roommate had invited the same group to come over to play cards, drink beer and just chill, but I had an exam the next morning. I could party with the best of them, but I took my classes very seriously. My classes and grades came first, so I hung out for a little while and talked to M, then retreated to a not-so-cozy laundry room to hide and study like a nerd. I was there until 3am studying, then packed up my stuff and headed back to my room.
When I got there, my roommate was passed out, but my room had been tidied, and M was in my bed. Until that point, we hadn’t even kissed, yet I didn’t find it odd at all that he was there. As I walked over to the bed, he pulled back the covers so I could slide in with him. He told me he knew I’d be tired, so he picked up a little and wanted to help me fall asleep so I’d be well rested for my exam. I couldn’t possibly do justice in words describing what I felt in that moment.
I never doubted his intentions, I would never have thought him to be the kind of guy that only wanted sex. But, here was this guy who truly talked and shared himself with me, listened to me, heard me, and was so unbelievably and sincerely thoughtful. He was genuine. Along with all of that, he wasn’t using any of it as a tool to get into my pants. He’d stayed sober and cleaned up my room. He’d waited up for me. He honestly wanted to snuggle me to sleep.
It shook me, in the best of ways. It was so unexpected. We kissed for a long while. Slow, passionate, getting to know you kisses, the ones that make you hope. I breathed him in. He pulled me close and we fit, I felt it and I knew he did too.
I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes. And, I got the best 4 hours of sleep I’d had in years.
*I figured I’d share some backstory for those of you who are newer followers. I did a series of ‘firsts’ posts not long after I began blogging about 3 years ago. I pulled this from the archives and cleaned it up a bit to share as per the daily prompt. This is how it all began.
It’s not all been sunshine and rainbows – we’ve encountered many obstacles, stumbled, and face planted repeatedly, and it’s been hard work. But it’s been worth every ounce.
-image credit http://www.shapes.se