Allowing things to develop organically and building a foundation of soul-deep trust has been necessary for us. That trust has a basis in communication that allows for the safest place for us to grow and evolve, one that doesn’t put our relationship at risk as we do. It is allows us the freedom to explore our desires and natures, and to build upon and expand them.
Over the last year or so, we’ve explored in ways I hadn’t ever imagined we would. M has done so much exploration within himself, has owned his unique dominance, and has grown and evolved so much. I’ve done the same in my surrender. We’ve shared all of this together, and it’s the been the most amazing process.
The trust and closeness that’s resulted has enabled us to find the courage to venture out into the community, and we have attended rope class and play parties over the past year. M does an incredible job keeping us at a pace that allows us the space to process, both individually and together. We don’t rush into anything, he would never allow it. We back off when we need to, and try new things when we’re ready.
Safe, sane, and consensual is necessaey – but we need a step further. We want to positively feed as well as protect our relationship beyond the immediate fun. That’s why we are on this journey in the first place! It’s the end goal, the forever goal. Period. So, we communicate through every activity, before, during, and after, with honesty. We discuss any possibly damaging scenarios ahead of time and never jump into any potentially damaging scenarios in the moment, which is he best policy for us. We also never agree to anything just to make the other happy. Yes, I trust him, I want to make him happy, and I wish to serve him, but I would NEVER engage in anything I thought would damage me or damage our relationship. Neither would he.
There isn’t a single act that’s worth that. Not one.