A Step Further

Allowing things to develop organically and building a foundation of soul-deep trust has been necessary for us. That trust has a basis in communication that allows for the safest place for us to grow and evolve, one that doesn’t put our relationship at risk as we do. It is allows us the freedom to explore our desires and natures, and to build upon and expand them.

Over the last year or so, we’ve explored in ways I hadn’t ever imagined we would. M has done so much exploration within himself, has owned his unique dominance, and has grown and evolved so much. I’ve done the same in my surrender. We’ve shared all of this together, and it’s the been the most amazing process.

The trust and closeness that’s resulted has enabled us to find the courage to venture out into the community, and we have attended rope class and play parties over the past year. M does an incredible job keeping us at a pace that allows us the space to process, both individually and together. We don’t rush into anything, he would never allow it. We back off when we need to, and try new things when we’re ready.

Safe, sane, and consensual is necessaey – but we need a step further. We want to positively feed as well as protect our relationship beyond the immediate fun. That’s why we are on this journey in the first place! It’s the end goal, the forever goal. Period. So, we communicate through every activity, before, during, and after, with honesty. We discuss any possibly damaging scenarios ahead of time and never jump into any potentially damaging scenarios in the moment, which is he best policy for us. We also never agree to anything just to make the other happy. Yes, I trust him, I want to make him happy, and I wish to serve him, but I would NEVER engage in anything I thought would damage me or damage our relationship. Neither would he.

There isn’t a single act that’s worth that. Not one.

7 thoughts on “A Step Further

  1. I realised today that I had missed some of your posts!

    It is interesting to see how you manage being part of your local kink community. I am not sure that we will ever venture there in the same way that you have but perhaps with different circumstances we would be able to try. Until then I think that we will dip our toe in as, when and where we can but will certainly take the same approach as you. I know that I am always more cautious than HL so it is good that I have him to push me a little although he does make sure that we don’t go too far into my discomfort zone.

    • No worries! I have no doubt you two will approach it in a way that is healthy and works best for you both.

      Interestingly, our venturing out into the community ties into your recent posts. I have had to face head on that self-consciousness. The notions about what others will think of me, how I behave, how I look, etc. This is one of the ways in which M has challenged me to let go. I want to! More than anything, really. Scary and amazing, as I mentioned.

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