Tools

I’m no hound, but I might know why,
You get so many growls, 
It’s evident to me, at least,
Why those near you wish to cowl

You bark and snarl far too much, 
Your voice is louder than you think, 
And contrary to what you may believe,
You’re excrement does, in fact, stink 

So, turn it down a few dozen notches,
And jump off that pedestal,
Lest everyone around you think,
You’re really just a tool

-Just bringing in the new year with a bang! Happy New Year, all. šŸ’œ

Not-So-Fly Swatter

*MatureĀ Content

Under the bed lies leather fly swatter,
M bought from an Amish donut store.
But, he never swats flies,
Just the backs of my thighs;
Each wallup creating (his) belly laughter.

-Photo is mine; limerick created as per M’s instruction. He’s been daydreaming of taking it with us to the next play party, lol.

Pup’s POV

My pup wanted to show you what we’ve been up to the last two days…

Leading the humans….they are kinda slow.


Cantwell Cliffs. I wanted to run around that rim but the humans wouldn’t let me.


Ash Cave. The water tastes like ass there. Made me sneeze. Should have called it Ass Cave.


The humans banned me to the back. Something about dirty paws, which is funny, since their butts are all dirty. Every one.


Rock House. It totally smelled like pigeon poop, but my barks had the BEST echo, dude.


Found this cool caterpillar on the way out of the last cave. Big male human relocated it because I wanted to lick it. Licked by butt instead.

Woof!

McBiteMe


The girls have stopped asking for ‘actual good food’, but then began to write ‘Chinese take out’ on the board every week for their food requests. I kept erasing it, so now they’ve resorted to writing on the board the things we verbally say no to, food or not. My oldest (she’s 15, Gods help us) wants another pair of Doc Martens and I said no. Last night she asked for a McFlurry and I said no. I woke up to this on the board….except that last phrase is M’s handwriting, lol.Ā